Family Support
How many times have you heard the phrase “It takes a village?” I used to hear it all the time, and I always equated that phrase with having an extended family nearby that was willing and able to help with kids. I have never had this type of village. My family is spread out and quite busy with their own lives, so help was sporadic. Then I get to New Zealand, and I’ve been able to experience a little bit of what happens when an actual village (and city, and country) come together to support families. New Zealand doesn’t do everything, but the difference between the do-it-on-your-own approach to parenting in the United States and the here-we’ll-help-a-little is huge. After all, I’m like every other parent and want to see my kids happy and healthy.
It’s kid friendly right from the start: The first time we landed at the Auckland airport, we were ushered into the family queue for customs. That meant no winding through stanchioned lines and only the shortest of waits with another family with kids under twelve until our passports were checked and we were ushered on to the next phases of entering Auckland. Alas, there isn’t a family line for customs, but every little bit helps.
Healthcare for kids is free: Assuming you have a visa for a lengthy stay of two years or more, kids can sign up for national health care and have access to amazing quality of care. The doctor’s visits? Free. Prescriptions? Free. Will the doctor’s write a prescription for things like Ibuprofen and the Kiwi equivalent of Tylenol (Pamol)? Yes - so it becomes free. I’ve always been able to get a same day appointment, and I’ve never waited more than ten minutes past my scheduled time. The time that happened, the entire office was extremely apologetic.
On our first doctor’s appointment, our doctor spent a half hour with me and my sick daughter. She not only checked my daughter out thoroughly, but she also spent time giving me a list of urgent and emergency care locations should anything happen outside of normal doctors hours. It was impressed with the quality of care.
I was shocked at how this approach to healthcare immediately changed the way I approached illness in our family. And let me tell you, the first few months I think there was someone sick all the time. Between normal winter germs and submerging the kids in a brand new germ pool, we were sick for two months straight. In the US, I took a “let’s give it a few days and see if it gets better” approach because I didn’t want to pay $90 for a doctor to see me for ten minutes. Instead, I’d worry for a week, and then take the sick kid in. In NZ, I realize that if its gotten to the point where I’m really worried, I need to call and make the appointment. There is no point in making me (or the kids) suffer because I’m not 100% sure we’re already in ear infection territory and I don’t want to go in only to be told to come back in another few days and pay another $90. The piece of mind this has brought to me helps me parent better because I’m not as stressed out. And a chill mom is a better mom, especially when someone is sick and everyone is sleep deprived.
Kids Dental is Covered, too: Yep. Kids born here are automatically enrolled in the community dental program. I was terribly confused when I arrived and started posting on mom’s groups asking about the best dentists why I wasn’t getting any responses. Finally, someone sent me a link the the Auckland Regional Dental Services site so I could enroll the kids. No one had ever looked for dentists before because the kids just go to the local one. .
Family involvement is expected: Kids’ schools constantly have different events for parents to attend. And the parents are always there. Jobs understand that parents are going to take off for a science fair, fashion show, random singing performance, etc. There is an expectation that these events will happen, and jobs appear to accommodate whenever possible. It is wonderful to see an almost equal amount of moms and dads at these school events.
This extends to parents taking time off over school holidays. Its not always possible for parents to take the whole time off, but it isn’t unusual, especially over the long break for Christmas/summer, for families to take extended time away. Maybe it’s a month at the family’s bach (pronounced like batch) on a beach somewhere or time overseas with extended family, regardless, the parents aren’t expected to be at work the whole time while kids are out of school.
Early childhood education is subsidized: All kids age three to six have access to up to twenty hours of week of subsidized early childhood education. This could be in a traditional preschool, Montessori school, or home based care. At some centers and in some locations, the subsidy covers the entire twenty hours. In more expensive settings, the subsidy only covers a portion of the care, but it still helps.
Parental leave policies are for everyone: Mothers and their partners are both eligible for parental leave and possibly even government payments. Depending on the length of time you’ve been with an employer, you may be eligible for either six months or a year of parental leave. A YEAR OF LEAVE, Y’ALL. Can you even imagine? Not even the most generous of US employers offers this.
There are tons of family friendly activities: Remember my post on the amazing parks in New Zealand? Multiply that by festivals, community events, incredible zoos, and family-friendly performances. There are things going on every weekend and all through the school holidays to entertain both kids and families. One of my favorite resources is Auckland for Kids. Kiwis understand that happy kids and families make the world go ‘round, and fun activities really help, especially when they are free or very low cost.
Plus, a good chunk of cafes and restaurants not only have kids’ menus, they also have small kids’ play areas. Its fantastic to see a little area that caters to kids and lets families know that they are welcome.
P.S. Like these photos? They are the work of the lovely Zanda.
