Holy Crap!
I guess I should refer to this as “The Toilet Post” in honour of the recent David Ferrier Flightless Bird episode that finally, finally explained to me something that we have noticed since our initial move to New Zealand: the toilets here are different.
And they are a thorn in my husband’s side because he cannot stand a dirty toilet and, in fact, has been known to rage so hard with a toilet brush that it breaks in half.
So here are the main differences in toileting for us:
There are buttons - not levers - to flush. In fact, there are two buttons. The small button is for liquid waste and provides a small flush. The big button is for solid waste and is - you guessed it - for a big flush. The big pro of the dual button toilet is water conservation and clogged toilets are extremely rare. The big con of the dual button toilet is that the buttons are often too difficult for little kids to press and as a result, they just stop trying to flush because it never works anyway.
There’s a lot less water in New Zealand toilets. There’s so little water that solid waste inevitably causes a mess down the sides of the bowl. This is because when you flush a Kiwi toilet the water rushes in from the basin and swirls down a smaller pipe. In the US, the bowl is filled with a lot more water and creates a vacuum that sucks the contents down a larger pipe when you use the lever.
Kiwi toilet paper is generally much lower quality and scratchy. Unless you buy a premium brand, Kiwi toilet paper is thin, itchy two-ply. There is no generic three-ply option, and even the premium three-ply options are less soft that your average US paper. Also, toilet paper never comes in more than a 12-roll pack. This may change when Costco opens up, but honestly your average Kiwi house doesn’t have storage for 64 rolls of toilet paper. I’m not sure if Costco clearly thought that bit through when deciding to open up here.
Every toilet has its own dedicated toilet brush. There isn’t one brush that lives in a cleaning supply cabinet somewhere in a Kiwi home. Every toilet needs a readily available brush because of the aforementioned skid-mark problem from having less water in the toilet bowl. Strangely, the selection and variety of toilet bowl brushes is pretty limited given how prolific they are.
Toilets are different than bathrooms. Separate toilet rooms are much more common here than in the US. As a result, people generally comment that they need “to go toilet” as opposed “to go to the bathroom.” It’s a subtle difference, but something that really stands out between Kiwis and Americans.
I’ve got to say that I miss American style toilets. I get annoyed at the dual flush buttons and the perpetually-requiring-cleaning toilets. It’s a small thing, but it makes a difference in every day life. I also realize that this is the second post in three weeks on bathroom-related things, so maybe I’m particularly focused on the subject right now?
On a side note, if you’re not listening to Flightless Bird, you must! It’s hilarious to hear a Kiwi’s take on life in America. It’s not appropriate for kids, but I enjoy it when they’re not around.
